Just as it is.
I am just doing what I enjoy. I started messing around with old clothes and sewing because I always felt that I was destined to do some type of work in fashion. I mean am I getting paid? No (laughing cat emoji) but I love what I do and I am so blessed to be alive to do what it is that feeds my soul, and that is enough for me.
I started sewing because it makes me happy. As simple as that. I want to show you that you can create and be yourself just as you are.
Do it because you simply can
I do what I do to prove that you can do anything you set your mind to. Nothing else.
It was not until very recently I got the support I thought I needed all along from my parents.
In the last couple of months, my mom would yell at me as I would lug another 20-pound bag of junk I thrifted from the goodwill bins into the house. My dad continually pushes me to focus on obtaining a biology degree, making it out to be that that is the one way I will succeed.
It is a little hurtful when people can’t appreciate something that is so entirely you. Or at least in the way you wished they would.
Do not get me wrong. My heart literally lights up at every compliment I get on my work. I am so blessed to have my friend’s support.
Your focus and your time are the 2 most valuable things in this world. Do not let anyone or anything infect you.
Once you find that thing that makes you happy, treat it as so.
Block anyone who has shit to say about what you do. Anyone who doubts you, block. Anyone who is keeping you from reaching your highest self, block.
If you’re worried about losing friends, you’re not. You’re losing people who see how they can benefit from your being. There is a major difference.
Sometimes I get fomo. Not from missing out on parties or a night out, but fomo of other aspects of life that are also to be cherished. I had to sacrifice a lot. Not just friendships and my GPA, but also how much I would allow myself to connect with others and the depth of my relationships. I needed to keep myself closed off so I could focus on this.
But what is this?
I do admit that there are times I doubt myself.
You’re never going to make it.
It is so much work.
You just worked so hard and now you have more work to do.
Are people reading my work?
Do people understand how hard it is to keep up with this when you feel like everything is just shooting you down?
Who even appreciates it?
News flash. You keep working and producing not for others, but the sheer fact that you can.
You do it because you can.
I do this because I can.
You have that thing in your mind, I know you do. That thing that popped into your head about what it is you want to do.
FUCKING DO IT!
WHO CARES?
Those who are courageous enough to be themselves will succeed.
Those who are vulnerable enough to express strength by opening their heart will love.
Those who let go of chaos will uncover their greatest power. Which in turn, will align you with your highest self. Your greatest potential. It is no secret.
Get the f up and go out there and get what you want. No one else is going to give it to you. But people will help you. Show up as what you want. It is all just practice. Practice who you see yourself as when you are happiest.
I can understand how difficult it is to show up every day as something you’re trying to become when you’re suffering with your mental health. I have been diagnosed with high functioning anxiety and depression. I do go to therapy once a week and try to take care of myself as best I can, but sometimes these caffeine-induced panic attacks get the best of me.
There are many days that I’ll wake up, immediately start crying, and battle with my mind to eventually get up out of bed at least 2 hours later.
There are days that I want to give everything up and delete all my socials and go completely ghost mode on absolutely everyone.
There are days I sit scrolling on my phone, paralyzed by this anxiety about everything that needs to get done.
It is so easy, almost a natural human instinct to see what someone else is doing and compare yourself to them. That is not you! You are you. Accept the world around you. Find peace in yourself.
No one is coming to save you, help you, encourage you, or motivate you in the way that you know you need.
After ranting on my private story on Snapchat, I’ll realize I need to slow down. Not necessarily stop, but to give me the time to get out of my head.
Forgiving yourself.
Forgive yourself. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself and forgive others. Forgive yourself so that you can move forward. Move forward so that you can get better.
It takes time and a whole lot of patience with yourself but I know you can do it. No one is watching your every move, and if they are, give them something to talk about.
You should value your time. Know that your time is worth more than others made you believe. Break free. You are free and you are loved.
If you feel as though you’re trying to fight your way out and there is no change, you’re not feeding your soul the right things. Do not be afraid to challenge yourself and switch it up.
I know the motivational audios on TikTok and Instagram reels may seem to regurgitate the same messages, but it’s because it is true!
Stop being bitter. Let go of that part of you that feels that you need to hate something to gain attention. You are only hurting yourself and allowing yourself to associate with other hateful beings that will eventually hate you. Why are you doing that to yourself?
I don’t mean to sound so harsh, I’m not saying you need to let go of everything. But I know that you know what it is that you need to let go of. Just fall back from it. A little distance won’t hurt. I promise you.
You may be afraid, lonely, or even feel totally helpless.
But once you let go, you create more space in your universe to feel more of what it is your soul is destined for in this life.
No one has got you like you got you.
Change is the only constant. You are the only one who will be there for you. Love yourself and love what you do. You need to love to learn!
You may be thinking this is super hard and you don’t want to do it. And that is totally fine. Keep lying to yourself to maintain this false sense of contentedness that you are so okay with allowing yourself to be in.
Or step it up.
I’ve had people tell me to slow down, those people are no longer in contact with me. Why?
Well, why would I listen to someone else’s opinion who has no knowledge of anything pertaining to what I do? There is a difference between constructive criticism and simply doubting people.
Keep observing the world around you and choose to focus on the things brought into this world from love and light. You are strong and beautiful in every way.
Even if we never met or spoke more than a few words, just know I love you.
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